Good at Being a Friend

I'm really good at being a great friend, I always have been. That's where all of my relationships end...they never go further because I am too good at being a friend. It's not worth the risk of potentially being something greater if it means there is a possibility of losing my friendship. I'm just not worth the risk.
I'm not flirty, I don't play hard to get....I just make sure I am there whenever you need me, and a lot of people don't want to risk losing that. 

One of the Hardest Conversations

Me: She's afraid I'll be mad if she chooses you. I need to make her feel okay with liking you so you two can at least move on and be happy.

Him: Maybe she does need that reassurance from you...but I would never expect you to do that at all.

Me: But I will.

Him: I know you will, because you are a great person.

Me: I'm a person...yes. But great? That's debatable. But I couldn't forgive myself if my selfishness from months ago caused you and her not to be happy.

Him: No, you are great, because even though I hurt you, you are doing something that could potentially change my life. And I feel so bad for that, so please don't feel like you have to do it.

Me: I have been hurt a lot worse...and I've learned to stand back up again when I fall.

Him: I don't expect you to at all.

Me: I'm doing it because life isn't fair, but if there is a way for me to make life fair for someone else then I will do it. Just because some people have to suffer the random bad luck and unfairness of life doesn't mean we have to make everyone else suffer with us...because then no one is happy.
And everyone deserves to be happy.

A Girl's Pain

Another thing too...girls like us find a certain comfort in causing ourselves pain. I know that sounds really crazy...but by causing ourselves pain we prove to ourselves that we really don't deserve anything good in our lives.I dont know how to explain it, but when something bad or traumatic happens to us we end up creating situations for ourselves that prove to us that we arent mean to have anything good.A lot of girls dont think they actually deserve good things in life, so we settle for the bad things, but the bad things cause pain, and we tell ourselves that we deserve it.